The Book of Loaf

The Book of Loaf

(Page is under construction as I convert the text to an HTML document. But the full text is available in PDF format here.)
 

Table of Contents [hide]

Preface: The Loaf Paradox

 1. Electric Election

 2. Squareware

 3. Egyptian F6

 4. Greasokinesis

 5. Quiz #1

     The Name of the Cat

 6. Quiz #2

 7. Quiz #3

 8. Quiz #4

 9. Tom’s Ghost

10. The Kittyloaf Principle

11. The Reprocutions of the Kittyloaf Virus

12. Pirate vs. Ninja

13. The Divine Lo Que

14. The Filibuster

15. gamemaker.makeGame(game);

16. Harass Tom

17. Do It Subliminal

18. Do It

19. The Definition of Hotspot

20. Kittyloaf Completion

21. No Subject

22. McDonald’s / Disney

23. The Blue Streak Kittyloaf Article

24. Star Wars Hippie

     Thomas’s Reply

     The Exorcist Conspiracy

25. The Parasitic Aspects of the Loaf

26. The Curse of the Loaf

27. Extremely Liberal / Conservative Law

     Thomas’s Reply

     T3h Ham Sandwich

     Correction

28. Tressler Theory

29. New Kittyloafs

30. Pollyloaf

     Milkloaf

31. Faolytte Co.

32. Kittyloaf Melee

33. Deloké and Mȧu

34. The Name “Lofémon”

35. Poké Ball Idea

36. The Laws of Physics Are Fake

     Thomas’s Reply

37. Lithium Version 3

38. George Washington Rant

39. Inverted English

40. Subliminal Messages

    Thomas’s Reaction

41. Kittyloaf Theorem 2.0212

42. Kittyloaf: The Movie

     Kittyloaf: The Movie, Act V

43. Charter’s Subliminal Message

44. Drink Camel

45. Java Homework

46. PhysicsRules Mascot

47. The Sampling

     The Definition of Dude

     Time Travel

48. RPS Extended

49. Lofian Genetics

50. Yak’s Rant

51. Follow the White Rabbit

52. Garbage

53. Biology vs. Physics

54. The Neverending Story

55. The Loaf Quiz

A. Lofémon Script and Notes

B. Initial Reality II Story

 

The Loaf Paradox
November 1, 2005, 7:18:54 PM

drink up me hearties, yo ho!

as was told by me in the future 46 years from now of the events which have happened 46 years in the past...

pjizzle was a criminal mastermind which would always control this guy named dannyjenn into doing things which physicsrules found annoying... such as talking about the many forms of kittyloaf and the HASH-PUNCH!!!. during his senior year, dannyjenn recorded all the secrets of kittyloaf wich included all his theories and crazy rants / filibusters. this was all written into a book, the book of loaf, which dannyjenn had hiden in the ceiling of the computer lab.

well one day, physicsrules got very annoyed with dannyjenn. so physicrules conspired with the people of charterskool to plan a way to take him down! so they came up with a plan, and it was called the loaf-dai. pjizzle was in on this plan, and no one believed dannyjenn when he accused pjizzle of being the true mastermind behind all the annoyance. so pjizzle wrote down all the information of the lof dai and hid it within the book of loaf.

and with that, the lof dai began.

physicsrules took duct tape and tied up dannyjenn, then threw him into the closet of the man named tresslar. then pjizzle would take loaves of bread and live cats and beat dannyjenn with it. the cats were locked in the closet with dannyjenn and would scratch him... very slowly. however, the people of charterskool had never done the lof dai before because they feared it... it was said that if a victim of the loaf dai should ever arise they would bring with them the 10 loafs of swicily.

eventually tresslar retired, and all the members of charterskool graduated, and the closet was left locked... no one knowing what "evils" lay within it.

however, one day the students in the programming class (which isnt java anymore since java has been outdated for the past 27 years or so) were doing their work, when the ceiling just falls apart (since the charter building is so crappy). that is when one student discovered the book of loaf, and read from it. he went into a state of insanity, and became obsessed with the book. he found the pages which described the lof dai, so he waited until the teacher left. he then broke into the computer lab and opened the closet. on the inside of the closet door he say fingernail marks, and thought "dannyjenn must still be alive!". he then say the text "the loaf is only beginning" carved into it aswell. so he immediatly unties dannyjenn and dannyjenns all skinny and everything because hes been locked up there for like at least 30 years by now eating only stale moldy bread and cats.

so anyways, dannyjenn escaped and over his 30 years of imprisonment in the closet he has learned strange abilities... abilities to fuse cat with bread. then he summoned the 10 loafs of swicily: kittyloaf, kittytaost, fishyloaf, pikaloaf, seedloaf, demonloaf, exorloaf, loafcat, deloke, and mau!

however, dannyjenn had to restore himself so he sucked them dry... that is, he sucked 8 lives from each loaf and left each with just 1 (since everyone knows that ctas have 9 lives). he unleased the loafs on the school... then he forced the guy that freed him to be his servant.

for some strange reason at this point physicsrules was a famous physicist and he just happened to be coming to charterskool to visit... no one knows exactly why. so anyways, physicsrules stole the book of loaf from dannyjenn, read from it, and dannyjenn loast his extra 80 lives. physicsrules then forced dannyjenn to solve a really difficyult physicsproblem in which dannyjenn could not solve since dannyjenn is a master of lofian physics, not regular physics (which at this point is 30 years futuristic of what we think of as physics today).

so it turbed out that these loafs that dannyjenn summoned were just strange videos he made and was projecting onto the wall with the old movie projector which also happened to be in the closet.

well dannyjenn couldnt solve the physics prolem so he ended up never graduating high school.

dannyjenn became upset so he sued physicsrules, and claimed "no one could have possibly known the physics of 2035 if they were locked in a closet since 2006."

during the police investigation it was revealed that dannyjenn was never in the closet at all, and that physicsrules had actually locked up dannyjenn's doppelganger in the closte.

so dannyjenn was confused by all this, so he looked through his records and he found out that he had indeed graduated high school back in 2006 and he graduated college and he even had a job and didnt know it.

so then he had found strange paradox which happened to him, and he decided to tell everyone these events. he began recordieng, and finally, 45 years after he graduated high school he was ready to tell everyine what had happpened. and so that was concluded of what had happened 46 years in the past from the point of view of the dannyjenn of 46 years in the future

oh oy seitraeh em pu knird!

you can lead a horse to water, but you cant drink the horse! so you;re wrong, its impossible to be so thirsty you can drink a horse!

but i'm thirsty... i can drink from a camels mouth... which reminds me, i'm gonna go get a drink now

 

Electric Election
November 1, 2004

Dannyjenn [5:10 PM]: hey

Straightupballr1 [5:10 PM]: are u ready for the raping bush is gonna get 2marrow?

Dannyjenn [5:11 PM]: nope, just because of some football (?) game hes not gonna lose

Straightupballr1 [5:11 PM]: NO...HE WILL LOSE CUZ HES A HORRIBLE PRESIDENT AND ALITTLE RETARDED

Dannyjenn [5:12 PM]: if he loses its because people voted for kerry because they thought that if he automntically lost becausew of that football game then they'd be throwing away their vote!!!!

Straightupballr1 [5:12 PM]: Bush is a nazi

Dannyjenn [5:12 PM]: if you know what i mean

Straightupballr1 [5:12 PM]: no..i dont

Dannyjenn [5:13 PM]: would you vote for bush, kerry, or nader?

Straightupballr1 [5:13 PM]: kerry

Straightupballr1 [5:13 PM]: kerry will win pennsylvana because its gonna rain in the western part

Dannyjenn [5:13 PM]: see what i mean, you didnt vote nader becuase it would have been throwing away your vote

Dannyjenn [5:13 PM]: its not rainig, lol

Dannyjenn [5:14 PM]: your crazy

Straightupballr1 [5:14 PM]: not now, tomarrow

Dannyjenn [5:14 PM]: and i am for sanity

Dannyjenn [5:14 PM]: ...or am i?

Straightupballr1 [5:14 PM]: what?

Dannyjenn [5:14 PM]: i am because i'm a student

Dannyjenn [5:14 PM]: students for sanity, vote for bush

Dannyjenn [5:14 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [5:15 PM]: 2marrow it will rain in western PA, which is the more republican region, causing less voter turnout, but will be dry in the east, mostly democtratic

Dannyjenn [5:15 PM]: why would rain affect it? its not like you need to be outside to vote

Straightupballr1 [5:15 PM]: some poeple wont wait in long lines in the rain to vote

Dannyjenn [5:16 PM]: oic

Dannyjenn [5:16 PM]: well arnolds from california, and hes worth at least 10 electric votes. and hes republican. SO IN YOUR FACE!!!!!! j/k

Straightupballr1 [5:16 PM]: but ohio is all rainy, which favors bush slightly...that will be close, and so will florid

Straightupballr1 [5:17 PM]: WELL, california is democratic

Dannyjenn [5:17 PM]: but arnold is worth 10 votes so it balances it out

Straightupballr1 [5:18 PM]: no

Dannyjenn [5:19 PM]: yeah, hes in the electric college so he can shock all the other califorinans and use his static charges to change their votes. one arnold has the electric potential of 10 regular people

Dannyjenn [5:19 PM]: he can flow his current, watts, and voltage through the conductor in the state judge senate representative huy

Dannyjenn [5:20 PM]: and lightning is worth 1000 words, so dont touch it

Dannyjenn [5:20 PM]: its hot and will burn you

Dannyjenn [5:21 PM]: never step in the molten sand that was just hit by lightning when the rain made it wet, it melts and your feet go in, it solidifies and they dont come out

Dannyjenn [5:21 PM]: sand + high temperature = glass

Dannyjenn [5:22 PM]: water + high electric current = hydrogen + oxygen

Dannyjenn [5:22 PM]: hydrogen + oxygen + fire = water vapors

Dannyjenn [5:22 PM]: so bush wins

Straightupballr1 [5:22 PM]: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!

Dannyjenn [5:23 PM]: its all in my mental book of crazy psychic predictions and stuff

Straightupballr1 [5:23 PM]: um...wow....ok......thats exacltly why bush shouldnt win

Dannyjenn [5:24 PM]: students for sanity, vote bush ceney 2004.

Dannyjenn [5:24 PM]: not for the crazy guys, likwe the johns (or whatever the joke was)

Dannyjenn [5:25 PM]: nvm, i dont get it

Straightupballr1 [5:25 PM]: ok....

Dannyjenn [5:26 PM]: well the whole point is that electricity follows the path of leat resistance. if you stick your finger in an outlet and your thumb of the same hand on the wall, the current goes through your hand and you dont get hurt. unless the wall to the ground has more resistance than your body, then you get electrocuted

Dannyjenn [5:27 PM]: i was electrocuted once, seriously

Dannyjenn [5:27 PM]: in my hand, by mistake

Straightupballr1 [5:28 PM]: brb

Straightupballr1 is away at 5:28 PM

Straightupballr1 returned at 5:42 PM

Straightupballr1 [5:43 PM]: EAGLES !! AND KERRY!!!

Dannyjenn [5:43 PM]: lolololll

Dannyjenn [5:44 PM]: is it coincedence that binladen just came out now? i think not...

Dannyjenn [5:44 PM]: he was trying to change the votes, lol

Straightupballr1 [5:44 PM]: no, i think he hates bush and was like hahahaha u havent got me yet, vot efor kerry

Straightupballr1 [5:44 PM]: or was he?

Dannyjenn [5:47 PM]: yo no se

Dannyjenn [5:47 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [5:47 PM]: ok

Straightupballr1 [5:51 PM]: gtrghtgtgtg

Straightupballr1 [5:51 PM]: gtg

Straightupballr1 signed off at 5:51 PM

 

Squareware
January 2, 2005, 12:33 PM

microsoft and square enix merged and formed squaresoft. rareware split into two companies (rare and ware). then squaresoft and ware merged and made squareware. squareware merged with itself to make cubeware, then it split into 2 companies (cube and soft). cube meged with a game company to make gamecube, (which was bought by nintendo four years ago), and ware merged with what was left of rare to make rareware (which was bought by microsoft and renamed).

 

Egyptian F6
January 16, 2005, 5:19 PM

well theres a part of the egyptian book of the dead that says

Sebket meht tuat sen. Semenkh-na khet em sat, sekhem-a em neteru em Khemet. Ari-na sekhen, heka per ment. Hapi pert em ateru, akab, Fekhet-saset kheper-f seta keb.

which means

Pylon the twenty-second. I established things in paper, I gaineth the power of the gods of the black land [Egypt]. I have made an entrance, my magic coming forth from pain. Hapi cometh forth from the river [Nile], the water floods, and Function the sixth becometh hidden in the great deep.

 

Greasokinesis
January 17, 2005

Dannyjenn [11:25 AM]: and speaking of greasokinesis, i can control the grease in the walls and make its frequency exactly opposite of mine, so it will attract my grease and i will be able to climb the walls like spiderman. then if i wanted to i could shoot webs of grease out of my hands!!!!

 

Quiz #1
January 21, 2005

PhysicsRulesPhD [11:19 AM]: Dan.

Dannyjenn [11:19 AM]: hey

PhysicsRulesPhD [11:19 AM]: What is the name of the cat?

Dannyjenn [11:19 AM]: sandy claws

PhysicsRulesPhD [11:19 AM]: Oh, okay.

PhysicsRulesPhD [11:19 AM]: Thanks.

PhysicsRulesPhD [11:20 AM]: Phil told me about the quiz.

Dannyjenn [11:20 AM]: huh? you sure its not "n00b" or "sandy"?

Dannyjenn [11:20 AM]: lol

Dannyjenn [11:20 AM]: ic

Dannyjenn [11:21 AM]: too bad i didnt save a copy of it, that would be hilarious if i posted it in that quote topic of charterskool

Dannyjenn [11:22 AM]: lol

PhysicsRulesPhD [11:22 AM]: Yeah, it would.

PhysicsRulesPhD [12:06 PM]: Dan, what were the questions of the quiz again?

Dannyjenn [12:06 PM]: quiz? oh you mean the thing i said to pjizzle?

PhysicsRulesPhD [12:06 PM]: Yeah.

PhysicsRulesPhD [12:06 PM]: Do you remember it?

Dannyjenn [12:08 PM]: i don;t know, they were kinda random. i might have it saved on my computer, i'm not sure. it was something like "1. what colors the sky? 2. whats the cats name? 3. whats the difference between [answer to #2] and a sentence? 4. whats that beast with the crocodile haed, lion body, and hippo legs, 5. (i forget), and bonus- who let the dogs out?"

Dannyjenn [12:13 PM]: oh yeah, # 5 was "who let the dogs out?". the bonus is "would the dogs chase [answer to #2]?" and there were sorta short story things between each question

Dannyjenn [12:13 PM]: i gtg

Dannyjenn [12:13 PM]: cya

PhysicsRulesPhD [12:13 PM]: Bye.

PhysicsRulesPhD [12:14 PM]: Go away, n00b!

PhysicsRulesPhD [12:14 PM]: :)

Dannyjenn [12:14 PM]: i am teh leet haxor!!!!

Dannyjenn [12:14 PM]: lol

PhysicsRulesPhD [12:14 PM]: :)

 

The Name of the Cat
April 8, 2005

Dannyjenn [6:30 PM]: check this out (from 01/21/05), its hilarious:
PhysicsRulesPhD [11:19 AM]: What is the name of the cat?
Dannyjenn [11:19 AM]: sandy claws
PhysicsRulesPhD [11:19 AM]: Oh, okay.

Straightupballr1 [6:31 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [6:31 PM]: according to you, his name was n00b

Dannyjenn [6:31 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [6:31 PM]: yes

Straightupballr1 [6:32 PM]: that would make more sense if it was a riddle, but its more of a random thing

Dannyjenn [6:32 PM]: well it was a riddle, but i put it into a random story so it would be more confusing / hard / funny

Straightupballr1 [6:33 PM]: well, the only name mentioned in it was n00b. Most riddles make you think that n00b would be you to mislead you....and then that would be the answer or something

Dannyjenn [6:34 PM]: i never said "n00b". i said "idiots digging a whle in the sand" or something ,lol

Straightupballr1 [6:35 PM]: and they said HEY YOU n00b!!

Dannyjenn [6:35 PM]: oh, well i have no idea why i put that in thre. i forgot all about it. i must have just been filling in parts of the story randomly

Dannyjenn [6:35 PM]: haha

Straightupballr1 [6:35 PM]: lol

 

Quiz #2
January 28, 2005

Straightupballr1 [9:27 PM]: give me another egyptian quiz thing!

Dannyjenn [9:28 PM]: ok, what happens when you knock over each of the 6 pillars of tresslar/

Dannyjenn [9:28 PM]: *?

Straightupballr1 [9:28 PM]: The roof caves in

Dannyjenn [9:29 PM]: question 2, why did the tarifs get higher if it would help america?

Straightupballr1 [9:29 PM]: so the foreign people wouldnt be here and suicude bomb us and stuff...

Dannyjenn [9:29 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [9:30 PM]: question 3- i was using my greasokiesis to climb walls and swing from a spiderweb of grease. then someone shoots at me. what do i do?

Straightupballr1 [9:31 PM]: use the grease to oppisitely attract the shot so that it repels it

Dannyjenn [9:33 PM]: suppose that the bullets just kinda stopped there like in the matrix (if thats what you're getting at). what if this caused the ground to become sticky. as i slipped and fell to the ground, i saw a cat with a knife stabbing a snake. who was this cat, and who was the snake?

Dannyjenn [9:33 PM]: *i meant slippery, not sticky

Straightupballr1 [9:34 PM]: The cat is Sandy Claws and the snake is Slippery Slitherer

Straightupballr1 [9:38 PM]: ?? any more, or is that it? if it is whats my score?

Dannyjenn [9:39 PM]: one more, but its too long ot fit, so i'm still typing it

Straightupballr1 [9:39 PM]: oic

Dannyjenn [9:43 PM]: 5th question- microsoft with all their money buys nintendo. then they make crap games for the gamecube, and goes out of buisiness (because japanese people hate american games). now that leaves sony as the only game company, so it is broken into many different companies in an attempt to stop an illegal monopoly. at the same time, the old nintendo takes all the money that they sold and makes a new company called Pretendo. after all this, sony merges again (theres a second company so its not illegal)...

Dannyjenn [9:43 PM]: pretendo is unable to sell many games since former-microsoft owns all the rights to zelda, mario, and donkey kong. so it "pretends" to be "nintendo and splits into 2 companys. the pre merges with the dead-microsoft and makes pre-microsoft. then in an attempt to get back into the aming industry, they need alot of money to start up the cmpany again. they sell the mario and zelda and donkey kong back to "tendo", where it...

Dannyjenn [9:44 PM]: renames itself nintendo. bllgates realizes the contradiction in calling the company "pre-microsoft", since it actually comes after microsoft. so he writes a letter to himself, and gets it postmarked. then he mergs it with his company, and the "pre" and "post" cancel to make microsoft. if all this is true, why doesn't anyone know about this?

Straightupballr1 [9:45 PM]: because pretendo pretendo to be nintendo so every one thought it was and microsoft was too small and soft to see.

Dannyjenn [9:46 PM]: ic
bouns- if you wanted to get the square root of a hamburger, where would you go?

Straightupballr1 [9:47 PM]: to the farm where the cow ate the grass and dig up the root of the square piece of grass

Dannyjenn [9:47 PM]: lol, thats hilarious. i'll tally the votes

Straightupballr1 [9:48 PM]: what votes? do you mean the answers?

Dannyjenn [9:49 PM]: yeah, but i was imitating the survivor guy

Dannyjenn [9:52 PM]: *still typing it up

Straightupballr1 [9:52 PM]: ok

Dannyjenn [9:59 PM]: *dannyjenn busts out scales of ma'at and puts a feather on one side*
*each question was worth 20 points*
1. correct +20
2. incorrect, but the answer was good +15
3. correct +20
4. incorrect, but sorta makes sense +5
5. dunno, makes sense to me +20
bonus- not what i was looking, but thats pretty good +[.5*square root of a hamburger]
total score = 80+ half the square root of a hambrger

Dannyjenn [9:59 PM]: total score = 80+ half the square root of a hambrger
*the correct answers were:*
2. because the tarifs got higher to help the united states (it was based off something crazy that jon and jen said in lober's class, but i probably got it all mixed up)
4. cat - ra, snake- apep (apophis)
5. i never really thought of an answer for. probably something like "nothing, because its not true", but your nswer was better
bonus- wendy's (i think). well its whatever that place is that sells square hamburgers

Dannyjenn [9:59 PM]: *ammit (the crocodile thing) sits there, dissappointed, because you passed the test*

Dannyjenn [9:59 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [10:03 PM]: r u still there? how was it? as good as last one? worse? wahtever? you can send a copy to tom if you want

Dannyjenn [10:03 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [10:03 PM]: amusing

Straightupballr1 [10:03 PM]: already did

Dannyjenn [10:03 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [10:08 PM]: i should make a textbased rpg like that. just asking aton of crazy questions

Straightupballr1 [10:08 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [10:10 PM]: wats the kitty loaf website

Straightupballr1 [10:10 PM]: ?

Dannyjenn [10:10 PM]: http://www.e-thug.net

Dannyjenn [10:10 PM]: and then theres http://www.pig.com

Dannyjenn [10:10 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [10:13 PM]: ...

 

Quiz #3
February 5, 2005

Straightupballr1 [4:01 PM]: GIVE ME ANOTHER QUIZ!

Dannyjenn [4:01 PM]: well i gotta give tom a quiz sometime. i guess i cfan give you one now

Straightupballr1 [4:01 PM]: yay

Dannyjenn [4:03 PM]: i was in a room, when some man told me to take a red pill or a blue pill. now i wasn't about to go about taking some random pill from some random man, so i refused to take it. what happened?

Straightupballr1 [4:05 PM]: Well you had a cold and since you didnt take the pill you got sicker but then the pills mixed together into a purple pill and u took that and then u were jacked into the matrix.....either that or nothing happed

Dannyjenn [4:07 PM]: well supposing i was jacked into the matrix. it was so realisic that i couldn't even tell that i was in the matrix, until i found out that by using greasokinesis i was able to gain access to the f6 of real life. just then, those matrix people show up and start chasing me. i bust out my paper, write something, then execute f6. what do i write on the paper to outrun the men?

Straightupballr1 [4:09 PM]: well, for one thing, how were you jacked into the matrix while already in the matrix(remember the guy with the pills?)...Object dan = new object();
dan.runFaster();

Dannyjenn [4:14 PM]: well, in the matrix sometimes things happen twice if theres a glitch (like that cat scene). so it was just a flashbaclk of what happened outside the matrix. thats how i was jacked in when i was already in.
now anyway, after the f6 was exectuded and i was able to outrun the men, that strange pill guy unjacked me and said "give me 50 more cents if you want to keep playing". then i'm like "what the heck? i didn't know i was playing a virtual reality game". so he kicks me out for not paying. when ...

Dannyjenn [4:14 PM]: i'm outside, i see tom and challennge him to a game of rock paper scissors. i bust out my rock. what does he use?

Straightupballr1 [4:16 PM]: he says, i dont want to play this nonsense...why are you here anyway dan...go away!

Dannyjenn [4:18 PM]: #4 -- so then you show up. i challenge you to a game. so right now i want you to type either a rock, paper, or scissors. then i will type 1 and send it. then 2 and send it, then 3 and send it. after that you'll press enter to send what you used, and i'll also press enter at the same time. got it?

Dannyjenn [4:18 PM]: and its best 2 out of 3

Dannyjenn [4:19 PM]: ready?

Straightupballr1 [4:19 PM]: ok

Dannyjenn [4:19 PM]: 1

Dannyjenn [4:19 PM]: 2

Dannyjenn [4:19 PM]: 3

Dannyjenn [4:19 PM]: rock

Straightupballr1 [4:19 PM]: paper

Straightupballr1 [4:20 PM]: yay!

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: 1

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: 2

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: 3

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: rock

Straightupballr1 [4:20 PM]: rock

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: 1

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: 2

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: 3

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: scissors

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: huh?

Straightupballr1 [4:20 PM]: rock

Straightupballr1 [4:20 PM]: lo

Straightupballr1 [4:20 PM]: l

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: lol, redo that

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: 1

Dannyjenn [4:20 PM]: 2

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: 3

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: paper

Straightupballr1 [4:21 PM]: paper

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: 1

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: 2

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: 3

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: paper

Straightupballr1 [4:21 PM]: scizzock

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: nooooooo

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: !!!!!!

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: crazy

Straightupballr1 [4:21 PM]: YEAH!!

Dannyjenn [4:21 PM]: ok, now question #5...

Straightupballr1 [4:21 PM]: ok

Straightupballr1 [4:22 PM]: that wasnt a question

Dannyjenn [4:22 PM]: i'm typing it, lol

Straightupballr1 [4:22 PM]: #4 i mean

Dannyjenn [4:22 PM]: oic

Dannyjenn [4:22 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [4:22 PM]: the rock paper scizzor thing

Dannyjenn [4:22 PM]: close enough to a question

Straightupballr1 [4:22 PM]: ...

Dannyjenn [4:22 PM]: alright, i'll make a new question

Straightupballr1 [4:22 PM]: no, i beat u so count it as right

Dannyjenn [4:23 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [4:24 PM]: ok, so #5 -- this is a deck of cards in my rpg:
FishI     Spong     UpgrS     Dano
Jono      Hogar     Thief     Archa
Uinit     Ichty     Phoen     CarnP
Pseud     Krake     TimeS     elBri
CatMu     UseEl     Ressu     AnciA
StreW     GoodE     Night     DayLi
UnfaA     ShelG     CoinS     MummT
ShelT     TKeyM     Fusio     Jono2
CowMo     Multi     IceAM     KingM
ThunM     Ra        Amun      Seth
Osiri     Isis      Anubi     Minot
KinM1     KinM2     KinM3     KinM4
KinUL     MMCar     MonkM     GhosF
the question is, which of these 5 cards make up a royal flush of diamonds?
hint - they are in an order

Dannyjenn [4:24 PM]: sorry, let me do that again

Dannyjenn [4:24 PM]: it came out weird

Dannyjenn [4:27 PM]: FishISpongUpgrSDano
JonoHogarThiefArcha
UinitIchtyPhoenCarnP
PseudKrakeTimeSelBri
CatMuUseElRessuAnciA
StreWGoodENightDayLi
UnfaAShelGCoinSMummT
ShelTTKeyMFusioJono2
CowMoMultiIceAMKingM
ThunMRaAmunSeth
OsiriIsisAnubiMinot
KinM1KinM2KinM3KinM4
KinULMMCarMonkMGhosF

Dannyjenn [4:27 PM]: crap, first line got messed up

Straightupballr1 [4:27 PM]: ok

Dannyjenn [4:28 PM]: but you get the picture

Straightupballr1 [4:28 PM]: is the first row 1s?

Straightupballr1 [4:28 PM]: or 2s i mean

Dannyjenn [4:28 PM]: 2s

Dannyjenn [4:28 PM]: yea

Straightupballr1 [4:28 PM]: so multi,ra,isis,kinm2,mmcar

Dannyjenn [4:29 PM]: that was the 5th question, right?

Straightupballr1 [4:29 PM]: yeh

Dannyjenn [4:31 PM]: ok then, bonus. tom was walking outside one day. what are the colors of his 5 cats?

Straightupballr1 [4:31 PM]: they are egyptian cats and dont have hair so like skin color

Dannyjenn [4:32 PM]: lol, thats hilarious. i'll give you some points for that. i'll tally the scores

Straightupballr1 [4:32 PM]: k

Straightupballr1 [4:36 PM]: brb

Dannyjenn [4:36 PM]: k

Straightupballr1 is away at 4:36 PM

Straightupballr1 returned at 4:38 PM

Straightupballr1 [4:38 PM]: ok bak howd i do?

Dannyjenn [4:38 PM]: typing it

Straightupballr1 [4:38 PM]: k

Dannyjenn [4:42 PM]: * dannyjenn busts out a set of scales, puts feather on one side...
etc. like in the egyptian myth...*
anyways, you got:
1. correct+10
2. one third+3
3. three forths+8
4. correct+10
5. correct+10
bonus - hilarious +2
total - 42/50 = 84%

Dannyjenn [4:43 PM]: the correct answers were:
2. you only got one third because i wouldnt be a new object (i already exist), and i was looking more for something like dan.speed+=999999999;
3. he might have said that, but if i forced him to play he would pull out scissors and lose because he says he doesn't know how to play, lol
4. you cheated :( there is no scizzrock, lol
bonus- he doesn't have 5 cats
*i gotta make the questions better, this one was alot worse than the other 2.*

Dannyjenn [4:43 PM]: it needs to be harder, and i need to use better ideas

Dannyjenn [4:44 PM]: i'll need to think of some good questions and quiz tom. any suggestions?

Straightupballr1 [4:44 PM]: a scizzrock is a scizzor made of rock so it can still cut the paper

Dannyjenn [4:44 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [4:44 PM]: so its like metal mario with the stone cap?

Dannyjenn [4:44 PM]: and a sword

Straightupballr1 [4:44 PM]: exaclty

 

Quiz #4
February 5, 2005

Straightupballr1 [4:45 PM]: i can give you a quiz

Dannyjenn [4:45 PM]: k

Straightupballr1 [4:45 PM]: ok Question 1:

Straightupballr1 [4:45 PM]: If a gamecube was really a box and a x-box was really a triangle, what would a game-box look like

Straightupballr1 [4:45 PM]: ?

Dannyjenn [4:46 PM]: it would be a square based pyramid (not a tetrahedron, i mean the kind with 5 faces - 4 triangles and 1 square)

Straightupballr1 [4:47 PM]: ok question 2:

Straightupballr1 [4:48 PM]: I was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man. He asked me for some money. I said i only have Canadian pennies. Then he turned into an agent! So, why was there an agent in the first place if i wasnt in the matrix?

Dannyjenn [4:51 PM]: well what really happened was that the homeless guy was there to get you distracted, but wen you were looking at him someone else came up from behind you and jacked you into the matrix. thats when the homeless guy became an agent, and when all this was going on someone took all your pennies and was on his way to canada

Straightupballr1 [4:51 PM]: lool

Straightupballr1 [4:52 PM]: ok question 3:

Straightupballr1 [4:53 PM]: If the Eagles cna fly and the Patiots cant shoot them because Eagles are our symbol and shooting them is unpatriotic, why cant the Eagles just fly above them and poop on them to win the superbowl

Straightupballr1 [4:53 PM]: ?

Dannyjenn [4:58 PM]: its because the eagles and seagulls are different animals. to start thing off, the song goes "fly like an eagle...into the sea...time keeps slipping...into the future". it does not say "fly like an eagle...into the future", like the post office commercial. going by this logic, the song writter got eagle mixed up for seagull. but none of that even has anything to do with the question. but still, maybe what you asked wasn't the question, but the real question is why would not it not be patriotic if ...

Dannyjenn [4:58 PM]: the eagle was the one doing the shooting, and the patriot was forced to fly

Dannyjenn [4:58 PM]: and shooting relates to basketball...

Dannyjenn [4:59 PM]: and that "fly like an eagel" was played at the endo of spacejam

Straightupballr1 [4:59 PM]: is that the answer? im tlaking about football

Dannyjenn [4:59 PM]: i know, and i'll just go with that answer anyway

Straightupballr1 [4:59 PM]: ok

Straightupballr1 [4:59 PM]: question 4:

Straightupballr1 [5:01 PM]: Since last year there was a wardrobe malfunction during the halftime show, what kind of dirty things will happen this year?

Dannyjenn [5:02 PM]: well i foresee an event that is so dirty that there are many words to describe it, but i dont know which words.

Straightupballr1 [5:02 PM]: ok

Straightupballr1 [5:02 PM]: ? 5:

Straightupballr1 [5:03 PM]: Since you have greasokenisis and Mcnabb likes Cambells Chunky noodle soup, what would happen if the cat and the agent came back and attacked the man who let the dogs out?

Dannyjenn [5:07 PM]: i assume wou mean sandy the cat? well, the greas will mix wih the soup to make a really greasy soup, which is similar to witches brew, so this greasy soup will be called "witch". now the witch will merge with the sand, to make a sandwitch, and the agent will start eating the sandwitch. that would leave the cat attacking the man that let the dogs out, and this is justified because that cat was injured by the very same dogs that that madman let out of their cage

Straightupballr1 [5:07 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [5:07 PM]: bonus ?:

Dannyjenn [5:08 PM]: si (con accento)

Straightupballr1 [5:08 PM]: 5 + 81 = what?

Dannyjenn [5:08 PM]: siete

Straightupballr1 [5:08 PM]: ok, time to tally the scores

Straightupballr1 [5:16 PM]: *some egyptian guy weighs your heart*
Question 1: +8. That could be right. My answer was it would be Ms Lober.
Question 2: +10. Thats correct.
Question 3: + 3. That doesnt even make sense! The answer is Bush would change the national animal to Hitler and then the Patriots would try to shoot them but the Eagles would poop in their eyes and they would go blind and the eagles would win.
Questoin 4: +5. The correct answer is that it wouldnt be dirty because they are having it on a stage and there isnt any dirt

Straightupballr1 [5:16 PM]: on a stage.
Question 5:+ 10 correct
Bonus: +1. No!! Its 86!! 5 + 81 = 86!! not 7. LOL!

Straightupballr1 [5:16 PM]: So 36/50

Straightupballr1 [5:17 PM]: 72% D-. Your heart is crap but barely passes. The egyptian god only gnaws on it a little

Dannyjenn [5:18 PM]: lol, then what? she spits it out

Dannyjenn [5:18 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [5:18 PM]: yeah

Straightupballr1 [5:18 PM]: just chewing on it, not entirely in her mouth

Dannyjenn [5:18 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [5:18 PM]: u get it back

Straightupballr1 [5:18 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [5:18 PM]: ok, enuf quizzes

Straightupballr1 [5:18 PM]: how bout some chess

Straightupballr1 [5:19 PM]: ;-)

Straightupballr1 [5:19 PM]: ?

 

Tom’s Ghost
February 11, 2005

Dannyjenn [7:18 PM]: i'm thinking of upfating my website. maybe even making a new layout, because its not very good at all now

Straightupballr1 [7:19 PM]: YEAH

Straightupballr1 [7:20 PM]: DO IT!

Straightupballr1 [7:29 PM]: i wanna work on my game but IM TOO LAZY!! NOOO

Straightupballr1 [7:29 PM]: :'(

Dannyjenn [7:36 PM]: should i put something like this on my site:
Side graphic navigation javascript and tutorial.
?

Straightupballr1 [7:37 PM]: if u want....i dunno i guess

Dannyjenn [7:37 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [7:37 PM]: or i could copy toms site

Dannyjenn [7:37 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [7:39 PM]: do it!!!

Dannyjenn [7:40 PM]: lol, toms is almost exactly the same as that other one

Dannyjenn [7:40 PM]: just horizonatl

Dannyjenn [7:44 PM]: woah, tom codes in visual basic? or is that someone else's program that he just happnes to have a link to on his site?

Straightupballr1 [7:44 PM]: i have no idea, ask him

Dannyjenn [7:45 PM]: but hes not on, lol

Straightupballr1 [7:51 PM]: NOOOOO, he might be on in spirit

Dannyjenn [7:52 PM]: lol, then i'll ask his "spirit"...
*ghost of tom appears*
*dannyjenn plays rock paper scissors against ghost*

Dannyjenn [7:52 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [7:53 PM]: but if u lose ur soul will be his forever!!!

Dannyjenn [7:53 PM]: but he doesn't even know the rules of the game, lol. how can he possibly win?

Straightupballr1 [7:54 PM]: ghosts know all, and of course tom knows how to play, he just doesnt wanna

Dannyjenn [7:55 PM]: i dunno, last time i checked he was like "woah!!!!!" and pulled out a real pair of sxcissors

Straightupballr1 [7:56 PM]: yeah

Straightupballr1 [7:56 PM]: Did he eat an oompah loompah?

Dannyjenn [7:57 PM]: i guess that there was a very high chance if and only if i were to have seen him eat an oompahh loompah

Dannyjenn [7:57 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [7:57 PM]: oic

Straightupballr1 [7:57 PM]: that makes perfect sense

Dannyjenn [8:08 PM]: my laptops exhaust fan is on and its very loud

Dannyjenn [8:08 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [8:08 PM]: and all this black exhaust is coming out

Dannyjenn [8:08 PM]: j/k

Straightupballr1 [8:08 PM]: oic, ur using a laptop?

Dannyjenn [8:08 PM]: yes

Dannyjenn [8:08 PM]: my computer is a laptop

Straightupballr1 [8:09 PM]: oic

Dannyjenn [8:09 PM]: my dad's computer (used to be the family computer) was a desktop, but now i pretty much only use the laptop

Straightupballr1 [8:09 PM]: is it freakin awesome?

Straightupballr1 [8:09 PM]: tom is on

Dannyjenn [8:09 PM]: 5w337n355

Dannyjenn [8:09 PM]: n000000

Straightupballr1 [8:09 PM]: he left!

Dannyjenn [8:09 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [8:10 PM]: yes!!!!!

Straightupballr1 [8:10 PM]: hes back again!

Dannyjenn [8:11 PM]: lol

 

The Kittyloaf Principle
March 3, 2005

Here is a scientific explaination on the secret to one of the kittyloaf's powers.

It was originally proposed by Justin Rathmanner at lunch today, when introduced it had no connection to the kittyloaf. But me and Kyle Shaver took care of that... we changed it around and related it to the kittyloaf in some aspects. Here is the theory:

supposedly cats always land on their feet when you drop them (i heard of that before). also supposedly if you drop a piece of bread with butter onit then it will alwya sland on the side with the butter (i never heard of this but someone confirmed that they heard of it). so you know how a kittyloaf is a combination of bread and cat? well if you add legs to tyhe kittyloaf (like i drew in java), then you butter its back and drop it then it will stay suspended in the air. the proof is that it must land on its feet, and at the same time it must land on its back (the buttered side). so unable to stay within the regulations of these two laws will force it to not land at all.

So now we know that at least one of the hidden powers of the Kittyloaf is levitation, which is achieved through a concept that i refer to as "The Kittyloaf Principle". However, there are many other undiscovered secrets of the kittyloaf that still remain, lol

 

The Reprocutions of the Kittyloaf Virus
March 3, 2005, 8:52 PM

today in study hall kyle said he got in trouble (i wasnt there, he was just telling methis) fo having my entire usb drive (which is like half my u drive and its got exes and music on it too) on his u drive, and then he ran kittyloaf. frat walked up behind him and was likewhat are all those files? and whats that (talkinfg about kttyloaf)? some kinda screensaver? no one said you could install that!

kyle: i didn't, its an exe file *closes kittyloaf*

frat: well lets see what these other files are *double clicks one*

*the mouse doesn't work right* *trys clicking it again* *gets frustrated*, lol

then i think he said something about calling the cops, i dunno, kyle might have made that part up. it turned out the only thing that happened to kyle was that he wasnt allowerd to use the computer in studyhall anymore that day.

 

Pirate vs. Ninja [under construction]
The Divine Lo Que [under construction]
The Filibuster [under construction]
gamemaker.makeGame(game); [under construction]
Harass Tom [under construction]
Do It Subliminal [under construction]
Do It [under construction]
The Definition of Hotspot [under construction]
Kittyloaf Completion [under construction]
No Subject [under construction]
McDonald’s / Disney
April 26, 2005

Straightupballr1 [5:34 PM]: so as i was saying, are you coming tomarrow?

Dannyjenn [5:34 PM]: si

Straightupballr1 [5:34 PM]: i dunno if i am...

Straightupballr1 [5:35 PM]: ivve got a denist appointment at like 1:30, so i can make it back on time, or i can go home and take a nap

Dannyjenn [5:36 PM]: lol. and by nap you mean pan and pan is bread and the phrase is "cat nap" so the naps cancel and you get cat bread which is kittyloaf

Dannyjenn [5:36 PM]: and thats no where near fully into the depth of the rabbit hole

Straightupballr1 [5:36 PM]: so should i come?

Dannyjenn [5:36 PM]: oui

Dannyjenn [5:36 PM]: which is oy which is yes

Straightupballr1 [5:36 PM]: oui as in yes or oiu as in no

Dannyjenn [5:37 PM]: oui as in oy

Straightupballr1 [5:37 PM]: which is ?

Dannyjenn [5:37 PM]: oy is yo

Dannyjenn [5:37 PM]: yo is "yes + no". actually, ypo is yes

Dannyjenn [5:37 PM]: *yo

Straightupballr1 [5:37 PM]: oic

Straightupballr1 [5:45 PM]: ok so what you are saying is that we must rumble!

Dannyjenn [5:45 PM]: epona

Straightupballr1 [5:46 PM]: does that mean no?

Dannyjenn [5:47 PM]: yeah, its the same as "e-pwn"

Straightupballr1 [5:47 PM]: yes no, or yes yes

Dannyjenn [5:47 PM]: which is nope backwatrds

Dannyjenn [5:47 PM]: it means no

Straightupballr1 [5:47 PM]: or no yes, or no no

Dannyjenn [5:47 PM]: yo yo

Straightupballr1 [5:47 PM]: j00?

Dannyjenn [5:48 PM]: et?

Straightupballr1 [5:48 PM]: j00 et!

Dannyjenn [5:48 PM]: 73 j00

Straightupballr1 [5:48 PM]: s1

Dannyjenn [5:48 PM]: 51?

Straightupballr1 [5:48 PM]: 51

Dannyjenn [5:48 PM]: 15

Dannyjenn [5:49 PM]: as in "i s" for "i see"

Straightupballr1 [5:49 PM]: 15

Dannyjenn [5:50 PM]: 0 |)00 j00?

Straightupballr1 [5:50 PM]: i do

Dannyjenn [5:50 PM]: odi (sp?)? like off of garfield?

Straightupballr1 [5:51 PM]: i rmemeber that! There was a garfield game for the sega and odi was a vampaire...

Dannyjenn [5:51 PM]: huh? no, i'm talking about the dog? or do you mean he was a vampire in that game?

Straightupballr1 [5:53 PM]: yeah, the dog...he was a vampire in the game

Straightupballr1 [5:53 PM]: and you had to open the shades to beat him!

Dannyjenn [5:53 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [5:54 PM]: for my hw:
java - ws
math - 6-1 day 1
english - read scarlet letter ch. 2 & 3
chemistry - none (we're gonna do it tomorrow because we have a substitute)
spanish - finish packet
history - we didnt have that class today (assembly)
gym - none
so thats my hw. i gotta "et ud"

Dannyjenn [5:54 PM]: j00 et!!!!!!!

Straightupballr1 [5:54 PM]: oic

Straightupballr1 [5:54 PM]: ill do mine in hr

Dannyjenn [5:55 PM]: lol, i got too much to do in hr

Dannyjenn [5:55 PM]: and we arent supposed to bring our math books to school

Dannyjenn [5:55 PM]: lol

 

Dannyjenn [5:55 PM]: the timeis 555

Dannyjenn [5:55 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [5:56 PM]: oic

Straightupballr1 [5:56 PM]: its 554 on mine

Dannyjenn [5:56 PM]: 556 on mine now

Straightupballr1 [5:56 PM]: ive gone back in time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dannyjenn [5:56 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [5:56 PM]: still 554, maybe timed stopped for me!!!! NOOOOOO, which means im moving the speed of light

Straightupballr1 [5:56 PM]: and it doesnt make sense that im able to alk to you

Straightupballr1 [5:56 PM]: nvm, its 555

Straightupballr1 [5:57 PM]: lol

Dannyjenn [5:57 PM]: yea, but its 557 here.
tell me what i'm gonna say 2 minutes from now
2 mons from now (now being your time)
i'm gonna say "kittyloaf"

Dannyjenn [5:57 PM]: all you gotta do is forsee it

Dannyjenn [5:57 PM]: whaty will i say

Dannyjenn [5:57 PM]: ?

Straightupballr1 [5:57 PM]: kittyloaf

Dannyjenn [5:58 PM]: now copy and paste that line to me, and i'll see if you forsaw it

Straightupballr1 [5:58 PM]: kittyloaf

Dannyjenn [5:59 PM]: no, the whole line. with the time on it

Straightupballr1 [5:59 PM]: yea, but its 557 here.
tell me what i'm gonna say 2 minutes from now
2 mons from now (now being your time)
i'm gonna say "kittyloaf"

Straightupballr1 [5:59 PM]: ITS 557

Dannyjenn [5:59 PM]: no, its 559

Dannyjenn [5:59 PM]: or is it:
Dannyjenn [5:57 PM]: yea, but its 557 here.
tell me what i'm gonna say 2 minutes from now
2 mons from now (now being your time)
i'm gonna say "kittyloaf"

Dannyjenn [6:00 PM]: 6 o clock

 

Straightupballr1 [6:00 PM]: i have a kitty and i just ate some bread, so if i eat the kitty, it will mix with the bread to make a kittyloa

Dannyjenn [6:02 PM]: i'm doing my senior research on kittyloaf. you see, its impossible to use bread dna, but someone told me how to actually clone a kittyloaf.
i'm gonna take dna from my cat and put it into yeast. the yeast will reproduce, and when i get enoght of it i'll bake some bread with it. supposedly the yeast (containig cat traits) will react with the bread and make kittyloaf

Straightupballr1 [6:02 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [6:02 PM]: You better star then

Straightupballr1 [6:03 PM]: start*

Dannyjenn [6:03 PM]: well its very risky. what if the cat takes over and i get full catsized yeast that looks like a cat and can reproduce througfh budding

Straightupballr1 [6:04 PM]: Well, your gonna have to take that risk.

 

Straightupballr1 [6:04 PM]: So heres waht i should call my next game:
The Legend of the Legendary Legend: The Legend

Dannyjenn [6:05 PM]: how about "d'negel the legend: legend of my legs"

Dannyjenn [6:05 PM]: j/k

Dannyjenn [6:05 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [6:05 PM]: ...

Straightupballr1 [6:05 PM]: j00it

Dannyjenn [6:06 PM]: t0j0i. which looks kinda like a face (t and i are ears, the 0 are eyes, the j is the nose)

Dannyjenn [6:06 PM]: so tojoi means face

Straightupballr1 [6:06 PM]: lool

Dannyjenn [6:07 PM]: *punches pjizzle while shouting "HASH PUNCH!!!!!"*
*pjizzle has been hashed*
*dannyjenn waits until morning*
*dannyjenn goes to mcdonalds and buys some hash browns*

Straightupballr1 [6:08 PM]: lol

 

Dannyjenn [6:14 PM]: i foirget how this goes exactly, i got it wrong so it doesnt sound right. but something like this:
according to someone who did mcdonalds as their lober skit (i think ben said this, it could have been shazim though, or both), mcdonalds was originally called "mickey d's", but they got sued byu disney. so they shortened it to mc d's, and that didnt sound right so they added a name that began with a d. so they chose donald, and got mc donald's. we still occasionally call it mickey d's, but...

Dannyjenn [6:14 PM]: *parts added by dannyjenn*
its not the official name so they never get sued
and the thing is, mickey [mouse] and donald [duck] are both copyright of disney. now i know that the story was made up, but it makes sense.

Dannyjenn [6:15 PM]: so its another conspiracy theory

Dannyjenn [6:15 PM]: hahahhaha

Straightupballr1 [6:16 PM]: oic, lol. Its says in the history book because a person named mcdonald founded it...

Dannyjenn [6:17 PM]: thats a coverup story!!!!!! everyone knows that that Kroc guy was really responsible, if that was true he would have changed the name and named it after himself. and it would be calld "Krok's"

Dannyjenn [6:17 PM]: j/k

Dannyjenn [6:17 PM]: but still

Dannyjenn [6:17 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [6:18 PM]: lol, it wasnt just Krok, u gotta look at the book. ITS ONLY 15C FOR A HAMBURGER!!! w00t

Straightupballr1 [6:18 PM]: y do hamburgers not have ham in them

Dannyjenn [6:18 PM]: because they're german

Dannyjenn [6:18 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [6:18 PM]: lol

Straightupballr1 [6:19 PM]: ok so as i was saying, i gtg

Straightupballr1 signed off at 6:19 PM

 

The Blue Streak Kittyloaf Article
May 10, 2005, 9:57 AM

DAN*** JENN****
Staff Reporter
 
   Meow Microform, Meow Mixer have been many times in which subliminal
messages have been found in Meow Mix English language.  Reversing Meow
Mix letter order of Meow Mix word, and turning it into Spanish have
found many of Meow Mixes messages.
   One of Meow Mixes examples is Meow Mix phrase "do it."  "Do it"
written in Spanish and Latin letters is "ET Ud."  "Ud" is shored for
used", which is Meow Mix formal word of "too".  "Too et" is "due et
and is "do it."
   So as I was saying, *slap slap*, before I was rudely interrupted,
I, along with some meow Mixer students, have formulated Meow Mix kitty
loaf principle.  This Meow Mixer is so complicated that it could take
years to fully comprehend.
   You see, Meow Mixer is Meow Mix kitty loaf, which was originally
found by some one during Meow Mix summer of 1842.  Meow Mix found it
on e-thug, if you can see what I am saying.  This kitty loaf produced
many meow Mixer loafs, like Meow Mix kitty toast, demon, exorcist,
crap, tomes flab ran, blah, blah, who let Meow Mix dogs out, so as I
was saying, *slap slap*, …
   Well anyways, it was Meow Mix kitty toast, Meow Mix fishy loaf,
Meow Mix pikaloaf, and some meow Mixers, and Meow Mix were all used in
order to release Meow Mix delude, divine jkittyloaf.
Meow Mix delude is de lo queue, if you kno0e what I mean….   Jdjjkhjdn
   And now, I will type as if I were a n00b,  hdhhjg dud who lefty
17823N SJ DJUJ IF YO0 UNKOW WHAT I B33 NME34N7.
   Now I will filibuster in order to delay Meow Mix effects somewhat…
   in order for me to prove my point (actually I'm not making a point to
prove so this whole post could be considered pointless), I am going to
filibuster. here I go... first, starting something off with some
mimeo Mimetically and physics Meow Maxims or whatever Meow Mix would
be called by
someone meow Mixer than Meow Mix guy that is speaking (me, or denizen if I
were to refer to myself in Meow Mix third person), well if I take Meow Mix
inverse derivative of Meow Mix integral of Meow Mix square root of negative pi
to Meow Mix e power, where e is equal to m c squared, as long as p Meow Minx q,
q Meow Minx r, Meow Microform p Meow Minx r, Meow Mix hypotenuse of
Meow Mix right leg of Meow Mix
Inverted trapezoid must be equal to Meow Mix eighteenth root of Meow Mix 10th
Day in March. Meow Microform, Meow Mix limit of Meow Mix Limburger cheese really
Smells like something, because this cheese is Limburger, and it really
Smells. Which brings me Meow Mix making Meow Mix point of Meow Mix
book that we had
Read in mar Kelly's class freshman year, called Meow Mix invalid's story.
Now everyone thought that invalid meant Meow Mix opposite of valid, but
That was a different definition all tog Meow Mixer, as invalid actually mean
Meow Mix sick man. So anyways, as I was saying before I was rudely
Interrupted by my tangent, sine is equal to Meow Mix opposite over
Hypotenuse, cosine is equal to Meow Mix adjacent over Meow Mix hypotenuses, and
Meow Mix tangent is equal to Meow Mix sin divided by Meow Mix cosine,
or even Meow Mix
Opposite over Meow Mix adjacent, which brings up Meow Mix fact of a force
Called "sohcahtoa", which anteater confused with sacagewaea, in which
I spieled wrong, which is Meow Mix lady on those golden dollar coins. Which
Means that to counteract Meow Mix forces of sacagawea, anomie Mixer force must
Be introduced, one in which is called by dannytjenn Meow Mix Susan b
Anthony. Well basically if Meow Mixers a sohcahtoa, Meow Mixer must be a
Choshacao, which would stand for cosecant is equal to Meow Mix hypotenuse
Over opposite, secant is equal to Meow Mix hypotenuses divided by
Adjacent, so than Meow Mix cotangent must be Meow Mix adjacent over Meow Mix
Opposite, in which this doesn't work out because s cannot stand for
Sine and secant, and c cannot stand for cosine, cosecant, and
Cotangent. But anyways, if Meow Mixes 2 sets of formulas are in existence,
Meow Minx one must represent rock, and Meow Mix meow Mixer would be paper. This
Disrupts Meow Mix flow of rock paper scissors, so a scissors must be
Introduced. This scissors would most likely be Meow Mix arcsine, arccosine,
And arctangent, which is basically Meow Mix inverse sine, cosine, and
Tangent. Well now that that's all been taken care of, I'll go on with
My meow Mixer point about "Meow Mix invalid's story". now that was written by
mark twain, denizen thinks, well anyways Meow Mix main character is
all                                                                                     qqqq
crazy, nearly dead and has shadily over this box of Limburger cheese
and a box of guns. supposedly he thought it was a dead body, so he
went through all this trouble, and he even kept opening all Meow Mix
windows on Meow Mix train for no apparent reason. well has been awake on
this train for many weeks now, he hasn't eaten or slept at all and has
all suicidal, he opens Meow Mix box to find that Meow Mixer was never a dead
body to begin with, but it was just some guns and cheese. speaking of
that, denizen has no idea why he even brought that up to begin
with. well basically, Meow Mixer is a limit to Meow Mix whatever it is, and
denizen has decided to end Meow Mix filibuster before Phil busts out
something to counteract Meow Mix effects of denizen's filibuster.
   So basically, Delouse is a beast!!!!!  Has Meow Mix man, if you
have any idea what I be saying'!!!!!!!!  well delude is did lo kid,
(did)vine (lo)aft (kid)try, divine kitty loaf.  So "de" is Spanish for
"of", and "lo queue" is Spanish for Meow Mix noun form of "what".  If
this point is proven, delude means "of what".
   Now, kitty loaf is a combination of kitty and loaf.  Now I will
focus on Meow Mix kitty half, and I will explain Meow Mix loaf later…
   Kitty is kite.  Meow Mix k and c sound are similar, so it becomes
city.  Meow Mix c also takes on Meow Mix traitors of Meow Mix s sound,
so it's also site.  Site backwards is "it is", so kitty loaf means "it
is".
   By stringing together kitty loaf and delude, you get Meow Mix
question "it is of what?"  Meow Mix answer to that question is
"bread", since Meow Mix kitty loaf and Meow Mix delude both have bread
in their derivation.
   And what is a type of bread?  It's got to be a loaf.  And this loaf
is Meow Mix same loaf that was stolen from Meow Mix kitty loaf in Meow
Mix previous step.  Coincidence?  I don't think so!!!!!!!!!!
   So now I will spread some fake html mixed with Spanish and java and
some English thrown into Meow Mix mix as well, along with slang and
whatever else is in it:
   <html>
<cabaña>
Yo Easton en la enema
</cabaña>
<Cuero>
<--! nada de release(); -->
ƒ(¦¶tÜM¦W+aUoNuevonuevo function;
poor (integer equips = 1; equips <=999; equips++){
   is (lenguaje.equals("Ingles"){
      Systemo.izquierdo.escribaln("I AM ENGLISH!!!   En Russia soviet,
pawn j00 you.");
   }
   is (lenguaje.equals("spaniel"){
      System.out.PRINT-THAT-LINE!!!!!!!! --> "Jorge!!!!!";
   }
}
<release>me</release>no
kyleshaver.realease(me).arm().length(tumwaoae);
//comment de asctyiovodadses
dados del brokenly
parrot
per
</Cuero>
</html>

 

Star Wars Hippie [under construction]
Thomas’s Reply [under construction]
The Exorcist Conspiracy [under construction]
The Parasitic Aspects of the Loaf [under construction]
The Curse of the Loaf [under construction]
Extremely Liberal / Conservative Law [under construction]

 

Thomas’s Reply
June 1, 2005, 10:45 AM

That was no ham sandwich.

 

T3h Ham Sandwich
June 1, 2005, 10:30 PM

lol, reading this will corrupt your mind, and as mr helie (sp?) (that was the substitute teacher, right?) said the famous quote that i ave no idea what its off of originall, "a mind is a terrible thing to waste." so if you dont want to waste or corrupt your mind then dont read the original email. as someone said (i think tom or you) about this original email , "this is no ham sandwich". in which i have no idea what mr helie meant by that, i dont even like ham sandwich. unless you mean an italian sub or something, i dunno. but even though this isn't a ham sandwiich, its still way better than the cigarretes / crack cocaine (i just made up the cocaine part) that mr helie was talking about. nothing is as bad as the ciggarette's effects on the mind, or something along those lines.

basically, this may not be a ham sandwhich, but it has got to be read eventually. so i dunno what this rant was about anyways, i guess i'm just announcing my hate of cigarettes and how good an italian sub can be (assuming an italian sub is a type of ham sandwhich).

and if i would relate this to the whole liberal conservative thing, one of the only liberal things i agree with is the smoking ban. but it needs to be even more strict imo.

 

Correction
June 1, 2005

so one more thing, i gotta correct that one part, it should say "(i think tom or phil)", second off who was it? tom or phil? or me? or mr helie? reply to this... or maybe not!!!!

it doesnt realy matter, lol.

thirdly, i'm just sending this to test out the reply thing and the forward thing (i dont think i've ever replied and forwarded 2 things before, lol)

 

Tressler Theory [under construction]
New Kittyloafs [under construction]
Pollyloaf [under construction]
Milkloaf [under construction]
Faolytte Co. [under construction]
Kittyloaf Melee [under construction]
Deloké and Mȧu [under construction]
The Name “Lofémon” [under construction]
Poké Ball Idea [under construction]
The Laws of Physics Are Fake [under construction]
Thomas’s Reply [under construction]
Lithium Version 3 [under construction]
George Washington Rant [under construction]
Inverted English [under construction]
Subliminal Messages [under construction]
Thomas’s Reaction [under construction]
Kittyloaf Theorem 2.0212 [under construction]
Kittyloaf: The Movie [under construction]
Kittyloaf: The Movie, Act V [under construction]
Charter’s Subliminal Message [under construction]
Drink Camel [under construction]
Java Homework [under construction]
PhysicsRules Mascot [under construction]
The Sampling [under construction]
The Definition of Dude [under construction]
Time Travel [under construction]
RPS Extended [under construction]
Lofian Genetics [under construction]
Yak’s Rant [under construction]
Follow the White Rabbit [under construction]
Garbage
September 13, 2006

From an AIM conversation with Phil...

earlier today, on wednesday, september 13, 2006... i was hunting GIANT SQUIDSSSS!!!!!!! and i caught one, ate it... then i coughed it up and sold it to the fish monger... he began telling me this story of his life 57 years ago back when he was a poor fisherman living in singapore... and how he was captured and forced to work as a slave. *and then i woke up*

aye, singapore. so the poor bloke keeps talking to me... and i repond "if the claws came before the paws, which side of the sand is the beach?" and then he says nothing, and rips off his face to reveal that he is actually a ninja. so instinctivly i yell "ARRRRR!!!!!" and rip out me eye... and it becomes some huge battle in which no one lived to tell about it

so i lived and told you about it. and then some dude was like "yo, you're the boy who lived" and i'm like "AVADA KEDAVRA!!!" *and then i woke up*

so as i was tellin' ye... i was captured and locked up in azkaban... and then sold to some american by the name of sanders... colonel sanders. he forced me to work as a slave on his chicken farms... and man i had no idea what was going on. so i decide to protest KFC. because KFC tortures chickens. anyway, he gets mad and fires me... i have no money (even though i wasnt being paid for working for him in the first place)... so i moves backs to singapore, mate

*rants about more nonsense*

so back to me story that i must tell before december 23, 2012... so i be living in singapore for 57 years as a fisherman with no money... until no one, i say no one, none other than THE BILL CLINTON comes along and offers me welfare if i illegally immigrate back to the USA... or the states as they calls 'em. so i move to america and become the fish monger. until one day... this bloke by the name of dan jennings walks up to me... and offers to sell me some squid.

 

Biology vs. Physics
October 20, 2006

TcfPhysicsRules (8:42:32 PM): Dan. Did you lose electricity earlier?

Dannyjenn (8:42:39 PM): aye, u?

TcfPhysicsRules (8:42:43 PM): No.

TcfPhysicsRules (8:42:44 PM): :-)

TcfPhysicsRules (8:42:56 PM): (I'm home, you see)

TcfPhysicsRules (8:43:01 PM): I guess it's back everywhere now?

Dannyjenn (8:43:12 PM): it was only out for less than an hour for me

Dannyjenn (8:46:31 PM): waitwaitwait... why are you home? you go home for the weekends or soemthing?

TcfPhysicsRules (8:47:07 PM): Every two or three weekends, I go home.

Dannyjenn (8:47:15 PM): oh, sweet

Dannyjenn (9:09:29 PM): thomas, you going to the lit drop, right?

TcfPhysicsRules (9:11:17 PM): No.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:11:29 PM): There are physics lectures I'm going to, tomorrow.

Dannyjenn (9:11:40 PM): hahahahhaha!!!!!!!1

Dannyjenn (9:12:19 PM): i still saw bio is better!!!

Dannyjenn (9:13:46 PM): but we both agree that chemistry is the worst, right?
you know who reminds me of you... my chem teacher (but with chemi instead of physics).. he sent an email saying "rainy days are perfect to study chemistry" lol

TcfPhysicsRules (9:14:13 PM): Haha.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:14:18 PM): Actually, I like chem better than biology.

Dannyjenn (9:14:53 PM): NOOOO!!!!!!!!! en su opinion, are those the only 3 sciences?

TcfPhysicsRules (9:15:20 PM): Basically.

Dannyjenn (9:15:33 PM): well you probably only like chemistry for the parts that resemble physics
bio i sstill the best

TcfPhysicsRules (9:19:21 PM): No...bio's at the bottom of the science food chain.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:19:33 PM): (even though I just used a biology-related metaphor)

Dannyjenn (9:22:10 PM): hahahhaha!!!!!
well here's how i see it... chemisty is the worst... no one would ever voluntarily take it. so in order to get more people to take it, they take the best science (biology of course) and force all biology students to take chemistry as a "prerequeset" as they call it

TcfPhysicsRules (9:22:41 PM): :-\

Dannyjenn (9:23:25 PM): why else is chem a prerequsit for bio?

TcfPhysicsRules (9:23:51 PM): Because biology involves chemistry?

Dannyjenn (9:25:06 PM): not the way i see it, lol
biology also involves physical attributes and you don't go seeing any physics required. doesn't that anti-physics discrimination make you mad... so mad that you want to join me in protest of chemistry?!?!

Dannyjenn (9:25:34 PM): and agree that bio is the best while you're at it

TcfPhysicsRules (9:26:56 PM): Um...no.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:26:59 PM): :-)

Dannyjenn (9:30:19 PM): hahaha, well i got one final way to put this...
if you copied the universe into 3 universes... and in one removed all chemistry, in one removed all physics, and in one removed all bio.., in which one do you think life wouldn't last?
i say that the chem one will last longest, the fi6 one will last second longest... but the bio one will INSTANTLY lose all life
so now that everything dies faster without biology, you can admit that it is therefore more important

TcfPhysicsRules (9:32:38 PM): But the thing is this: all biology works because of chemistry and all chemistry works because of physics. So if you remove all physics, chemistry and biology would both immediately fall apart.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:33:39 PM): There is the mere issue that all of the atoms in our bodies are held together by the strong force...without physics, there would be no strong force. All objects would instantly fall apart.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:33:57 PM): Actually, the quarks in protons and neutrons would separate, too. So there would be none of those.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:34:39 PM): And if string theory (or any one of its rivals) is right, without physics, there would be absolutely nothing at all--no energy, no atoms, to quarks, no life. Only God.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:35:17 PM): Care to change your mind?

TcfPhysicsRules (9:36:26 PM): I'll summarize that: no biology = no life; no physics = no anything.

Dannyjenn (9:38:07 PM): ...silence
...

Dannyjenn (9:38:08 PM): lol

Dannyjenn (9:38:28 PM): your points are inarguable... but I CANNOT SWITCH TO THE FISIX!!!!

Dannyjenn (9:38:41 PM): i'd rather have nothing than death

TcfPhysicsRules (9:39:02 PM): Haha.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:39:18 PM): But wouldn't nothing imply death, also?

Dannyjenn (9:41:55 PM): in paradise lost death was something...
something != nothing
therefore nothing does not imply death
and death is less desirable than nothing (well, unnecessary death is less desirable)

Dannyjenn (9:43:11 PM): anyway, can you die from nothing? that's like that riddle
what's greater than god, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and its deadly to eat it?

TcfPhysicsRules (9:44:03 PM): Nothing.

TcfPhysicsRules (9:44:26 PM): But to die means to cease to be alive, right?

TcfPhysicsRules (9:44:36 PM): So if you cease to exist at all, I would assume that means you have died.

Dannyjenn (9:45:51 PM): hahaha, no, there's a fallacy in that logic!!!
death is a natural part of the life cycle... somethin that cannot die can't be considerted "alive".
so if you don't exist then you were never alive and if you were never alive then you can never die

Dannyjenn (9:47:42 PM): besides, spirits / ghosts are "dead" but they exist

TcfPhysicsRules (9:47:54 PM): Not within the universe.

Dannyjenn (9:48:30 PM): oh, yeah, guess you're right on that point

Dannyjenn (10:02:51 PM): gtg, cya

 

The Neverending Story
February 9, 2007

The Neverending Story: Part One of Infinity
by Philip Saponaro, Daniel Jennings, and Thomas Flanagan
 

*[dannyjenn] takes it upon himself to go walking through the building with a baseball bat and smashing every toaster that comes to sight*

*bat explodes in his own hand, dealing him 283 damage*

*dannyjenn is knocked unconcious*

*2 turns later*

*the kernal shows up and gives him some KFC samples*

*dannyjenn wakes up, holding "the sampling", with no idea how it got there*

*obtained sampling*

*dannyjenn uses sampling*

*enemy goes into a state of insanity*

*enemy = english class*

*english class absorbs the sampling, fusing with it*

*now the teacher can only talk by saying meowmix and lofian*

well conveniently the lofian word for "meowmix" is "the". so it reverts back to english

*turns out the english teacher was catboi*

*cats fill the room*

*dannyjenn attempts to control cat*

*dannyjenn gets scratched*

*dannyjenn reads sampling*

*cats obey him*

*cats are still filling the room, so many that the room cant hold it*

*only one litterbox*

*dannyjenn casts mini* [litterbox becomes insignificant]

*catboi tries to gain control of the cats from dannyjenn*

*phil busts in*

*phil's filabuster is no match for catboi's cats*

*dannyjenn sets fire to the building*

*as the building burns, it is filled with the essence of the burnt flesh of cats*

*dannyjenn inhales cat fumes*

*but dannyjenn is on fire so he recieves 28 damage due to BRN*

*phil uses ice cubes to cool down, it cools down a cat who was on fire*

*dannyjenn, unable to give up a single cat, shoots 500 flaming arrows in phil's general direction*

*phil was behind a wall, plus dannyjenn was aiming for phil tynan...the wrong phil*

*phil tynan is on fire and has holes in him*

*sound of cop cars in the background*

*dannyjenn flees*

*escape attempt failed*

*dannyjenn was taken to jail where he was fiercly interrogated by thomas*

so anyway, dannyjenn is locked away until is able to successfully pwn physicsrules in a physics test.

physicsrules gets higher score, judge sentences dannyjenn to at least one more turn in jail

*thomas decides to give dannyjenn the death sentence...thomas is going to put dannyjenn in the chair...full of razor sharp cat claws*

*ptynana: I WANT REVENGE!!!!!!*

i thought he was dead

well he is, but he wants revenge

PTynan cast Raze on dannyjenn

dannyjenn struggles to free himself from the chair

*dannyjenn escaped the chair just in time to see phil tynan and phil saponaro fight over phil supremacy*

*king solomon walks into the room*...

Solomon: I'll decide this, i'll cut both of you into many pieces!!!

*solomon doesnt realize phil saponaro has seen the librarian and knows all of solomons secrets*

*phil s uses the flute to play the song of solomon*

*Phil s now controls solomon*

*so dannyjenn, realizing that there is no way he could defeat king solomon, decides to mindcross big yak*

*big yak gnaws on mouse as a sign that he truly is possessed*

*matt yak and solomon fight to the death, but yak is already undead so he cant lose*

*suddenly, a big mac daddy sandwich busts in, but cant filibuster cuz his name isnt phil*

*dannyjenn releases big yak from his control, then challeneges big mac to RPS*

Dannyjenn: 1

Dannyjenn: 2

Dannyjenn: 3

Dannyjenn: s

Mac: r

Dannyjenn: NOOOOOOO!!!!

dannyjenn loses 183 hp

*dannyjenn is out of HP, but phil lets him borrow 1*

*dannyjenn leaves, along with pjizzle's 1 hp*

*pjizzle loses 1 hp*

big mack: TIG!!!!

phil: bitties!

*giant tig bitties are summoned to attack*

dannyjenn walks back into room, has no idea what's going on

*dannyjenn is confused*

phil randomly starts rolling dice

rolled 2 6-sided dice: 2 5

rolled 2 6-sided dice: 1 6

rolled 2 6-sided dice: 1 6

dannyjenn is A.K.A. D.J., he switches the order, becomes KADAJ

where's Mother?

*phil has mother in his pocket*

*phil also has father in his other pocket*

*kadaj is really confused, never knew he had a father.*

*voice from pjizzle's left pocket: Kadaj, I am your father*

*Kadaj: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!*

*kadaj realizes he is his own father because he want back in time or something*

Kadaj: Alas, in our happy flock, he's what you'd call a black sheep.

DILLY DALLY SHILLY SHALLY

big yak becomes confused

kadaj and big yak do damage to themselves

*big yak starts making a yaking sound*

*kadaj gets angry and starts summoning buhamut, and some cats*

Cats: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

*kadaj thinks its a terrorist threat and calls the cops*

catboi walks into the room (and he's really mad because everyone just walked out while he was in the middle of giving a lecture).

catboi calls off cats

too late though, cops arrive

*the cops start to beat the cats, which infuriates catboi, who shows his anger by stripping*

*phil closes his eyes because that sight can kill most people*

*cops arrest catboi for public nudity, catboi then gets a ton of hippies to join him in protest*

*thomas was most unfortunate and was looking at catboi when the evil was unleashed*

*hippies rally at the white house, in the nude*

well kadaj knows that the hippes are jedi, so he needs some sith to counter them. since his father was vader, kadaj renames himself luke and joins the dark side.

physicsrules and big yak join his party, and they begin to travel to washington dc, with aspirations of meeting up with the emperor (aka bush)

*phil gets in an xwing and tries to stop them, the emperor/George Bush needs to be stopped!*

*in a scene much like star wars, phil blows up the death star*

*/ the white house*

unfortunately for pjizzle, the no one was anywhere near the death star.

Luke: If you're not with me, you're my enemy... *luke pulls out lightsaber*

*pjizzle pulls out lightsaber and begins to fight luke*

*pjizzle realizes that luke is weak against pokemon and throws a pokeball at him*

as the pokeball is flying toward luke, he decides to abandon his name.

he then goes by a name which he has not heard in a very long time (31 minutes to be exact).

dannyjenn used to play pokemon aswell *dannyjenn throws pokeaball*

phil: *Go zombieloaf!*

Dannyjenn: *GO!! EXORFISH!!*

*all of a sudden chuck norris and bruce lee break in*

*phil: zombieloaf! Eat chuck norris' brain!*

what zombieloaf does not know is that norris is actually his true master. so he eats norris's brain, and they both die

*zombieloaf is already dead so its ok*

in all the confusion, no one notices that bruce lee is sitting in the background, eating some sushi or soemthing.

then dannyjenn realizes that exorfish is nowhere in sight

*exorfish ran away to go drink some holy water* but the holy water had bacteria in it, so it got an infection*

ummm no. so anyway, dannyjenn is confused as to what bruce lee is doing there, and who's side he's even on.

so dannyjenn decides maybe he should say somehting.

dannyjenn: Yo bruce, what's your deal?

*bruce: my deal is that i like it when the red water comes out*

*bruce: and a pokemon battle seemed like the perfect place to taste some red blood*

dannyjenn: oh, okay then. in that case i'll let you live. just as long as its red, not green

just them Jack Thompson appears

whos that?

what? how could you have not heard about him? well he's some florida attorney who tries to get video games banned

*Mario and sonic combine to form sonio*

Jack Thompson decides to pass legislation banning Sonio

*sonio and luigi combine to form some really italian hedgehog*

*it uses fire flower power to defeat jack thompson*

*jack thompson explodes, but comes back as a zombie*

*Jack Thompson: "I R T3H N00B!!!!!!!!!!!! U PIXELANTES WON'T STOP ME!!!!!!!"*

*oh yes we will, you will become on of us!!*

*jack thompson gets sucked into hte video game world, and then is rated T for teen*

h'anyways, where were we? oh, yeah, *dannyjenn continues to fight pjizzle*

[oh, btw, thomas is online, maybe you should get him in here]

PhysicsRules: Okay. I have an AK47 and half a dozen sticks of dynamite

*phil takes the stick of dynamite, puts it in a physics book, and then lights the string on fire*

*thomas opens thebook to do a few problems and explodes*

*physicsrules see the dynamite is about to explode, so he pulls the fuse out.*

dannyjenn then begins to shoot thousands of flaming arrows back towarsd pjizzle, hoping one may hit some of the dynamite that pjizzle so stupidly left lying around after he stle it from physicsrules*

*none do, hes a horrible shot*

dannyjenn: so physicsrules, you driving?

physicsrules is driving.

physicsrules is driving the speed limit.

*pjizzle hyjacks the car physicsrules is driving*

physicsrules pulls out the AK47 and blows pjizzle away

then laughs maniacally

*pjizzle: wow, oops i shoudlve thought that one through*

*dannyjenn pulls out lightsaber, then climbs onto the roof of physicsrules's car where he has more room*

*dannyjenn and pjizzle duel, but they realized they have destroyed the car*

*physicsrules sends them a bill for the car*

*dannyjenn pays the bill*

pjizzle: i aint paying this*

*dannyjenn calls some camels to him, and begins to ride one to dc*

*dannyjenn: sweet*

*dannyjenn then extracts lemonade from camel*

*dannyjenn sprays lemonade in pjizzle's eyes*

*dannyjenn then releases the bees*

*pjizzle is frightened of bees, so he takes a fly swatter and chases them, realizing too late it isnt a bee swatter*

*physicsrules takes some honey from the bees, which he can, because they're busy attacking pjizzle, and puts it in his tea*

*dannyjenn drinks some lemonad*

*pjizzle steals a scone*

*physicsrules tries to take the scone back, but it has already been eaten*

*dannyjenn: YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!!!!!*

*pjizzle waits a few days and then gives it back*

*dannyjenn: MONEY DOESN'T WORK ON ME, ONLY JEDI MIND TRICKS!"

*pjizzle: alright, you will let me ride your camel, seriously....you will*

*dannyjenn: these are not the droids i want*

*you don't want any death sticks. You will go home and rethink your life*

*pjizzle: I will go home and rethink my life*

*dannyjenn: would you like to buy some death sticks*

*pjizzle: sure, how much are they?*

and are they filled with mozzerella?

*dannyjenn: i seriously doubt it*

*and they are conveniently the exact cost of physicsrules's car bill*

*pjizzle steals some death sticks and fills them with mozzerella and then sells them to thomas for the low low price of 19.95*

*hey, you can't have those death sticks!!!*

*pjizzle: im gonna get what i want!*

no, just no

yes, just yes

*pulls matt yak back into the world of the living*

*as pjizzle is distracted, dannyjenn gets on camel and begins to travel toward dc again. however, he realizes that the camel is extremely slow.

dannyjenn asks physicsrules, "got any better ideas for transportation?"

*pjizzle starts walking*

dannyjenn is confused... pjizzle is only here to stop dannyjenn, big yak, and physicsrules... and has no reason to go to DC without us.

furthermore, how did catboi and the hippies get there so quickly?*

*well pjizzle isnotcrazy and is going to set traps along the way*

*and the hippies smoked alot of pot then floated there*

*with no response from physicsrules, dannyjenn decides that it would be a good idea to set off all the dynamite and maybe the blast would somehow manage to launch them all the way there*

*dannyjenn lights arrow, aims it at dynamite*

*dannyjenn blows himself up, and doesnt really go anywhere*

*physicsrules uses his wormhole machine to transport the remaining people to Washington*

*physicsrules and catboi face off in a duel to end all duels*

*dannyjenn jumps into the wormhole just as physicsrules and nbig yak depart*

*pjizzle already walked all the way to DC, and meets dannyjenn and phyics rules there*

*a storm cloud fills the sky, and it starts raining cats*

*oh no, thats a sign that catboi's power is increasing*

*physicsrules runs into a Church and grabs a rosary with which he can fight Catboi*

*catboi grabs the rosary and sticks it somewhere inappropriate*

*catboi explodes because he can't touch holy objects*

*cats burst out from his stomach and attack physicsrules*

*dannyjenn jumps in front of physicsrules, tries to command cat*

*dannyjenn begins chanting: lofahailofahaiapepdelokedelokedeeelookeee!!!*

*a giant mummy cat comes out of the ground and grabs physicsrules*

*dannyjenn: [speaking in egyptian]*

*cat goes to sleep*

*pjizzle pokes it with a stick*

*a human sacrafice must be made in order to completely revive the divine kitty loaf*

*dont look at me*

*dannyjenn stabbs big yak multiple times*

*whew*

*big yak: ET TU, BRUTE?"*

*pjizzle eats a caeser salad*

*obscenities are heard echoing*

*big yak is succeeded by the first emperor, bush*

*dannyjenn: physicsrules, we've got to get past these hippies so we can meet up with bush*

*pjizzle: NO! Youll have to get by me first*

dannyjenn tries using force lightning, but it backfires because it ain't a ham sandwich

*deloke uses touch of midas on lightning, turns it to bread*

*im all that and a bag of chips, grabs a bag of chips and eats a ham sandwich*

*deloke turns chips to bread*

*deloke turns ham to bread*

*pjizzle is eating nothing but bread!*

NOOO! *takes out a toaster and makes toast*

What? Deloke is evolving...

Deloke evolved into Detoke!

*wait, detoke is a lower form, it would be detoke evolving into deloke*

*pjizzle is confused*

*pjizzle hits himself in confusion, loses 106 hp*

pjizzle must roll dice to see if he damages himself in confusion

*pjizzle runs into the washington monument and shouts out "My santuary, my santuary yeah...where fears and lies melt away!"*

*dannyjenn drinks some cat beer (which, for those of you who don't know, is cat urine)*

*dannyjenn attacks in a drunken rage*

dannyjenn damages himself for 173

cat beer's effect wore off

*frat boys surround dannyjenn and drag him off to mr frat's house*

*frat is not too smart, calls cops on kyle shaver for having dannyjenn's files saved to his udrive*

*cops arrive at washington dc*

*kyle gest 10 years of detention*

you'd think the FBI would be right there

*i dunno, either way dannyjenn grabs physicsrules's AK47*

*george bush declares war on dannyjenn and physicsrules for having weapons of mass destruction*

dannyjenn challenegs bush to a test... of lofian physics*

*bush is stupified, preemptive strike*

*dannyjenn starts shooting more flaming arrows*

miss

*pjizzle steals dannyjenns quiver of arrows*

*physicsrules, not wanting to attack bush, does nothing*

*bush thinks it is a trap so starts bombing physicsrules*

I'll save you, Mr. President! *physicsrules stabs dannyjenn in the back*

*dannyjenn: AAHHHH!!!!!!!*

*bush decids to challenge physoicsrules to nucular physics*

*much different from nuclear physics*

*dannyjenn has died*

*dannyjenn must restart in california*

Bush can't challenge physicsrules to nuclear physics because Bush can't say "nuclear"

bush: nucular, its pronounced nuke-you-ler *physicrules decides to use some mathematical proof to prove that its actually "nuclear"*

*bush decides the proof doesnt work because 1+1 = 11*

*BANG* *bush falls over, dead*

*cheney steps out of the whitehouse, holding shotgun*

cheney: "he controlled both the senate

and the house of represenatives (that is, until the 2006 election), he was too dangerous to be left alive"

*cheney rips off face*

*underneath is thomas*

*cheney reverts back to physicsrules* physicsrules: power! unlimited power!!!! *physicrules uses forcelighting on pjizzle*

*Pjizzle uses rubber gloves*

*pjizzle then starts dancing up a storm...a catbread storm*

*physicrules is allergic to cats, and has an allergic reaction 2/3 of the time*

*physicrules has allergic reaction to cat, loses 271 hp*

*he also breaks out in a rash and starts sneezing*

*physicsrules, however, eats the bread half of the catbread storm, and is cured*

*he then starts cooking scones and making tea for some reason*

physicrules: 'ey mate, 'ave a spot o' tea

*physicsrules drinks the tea and then dies because it was poisoned...he then joins dannyjenn in california*

*fine, that didnt really happen and he lived thru the poison, dannyjenn is still lonely in california and has a long way to go to get to DC*

*a wormhole opens up and physicsules jumps out of it, and sees the crazy physicsrules drinking the poisonous tea*

physicsrules: IMPOSTER!!!

*physicsrules uses some crazy physics theorem to confuse the imposter*

*the imposter drinks more tea, this time 10 cups so he has only a .5^10 chance of living* 10 dice rolls

*imposter dies*

*thomas laughed with an evil voice as the imposter's brain exploded*

*kyle "the big mac daddy sandwich" appears and starts to dance*

*ok, so the imposter's brain explodes but only metaforically, as the tea he drank was never poisoned*

physicsrules (to the imposter): "big mac? but why?!"

big mac: i never liked bush

*physicsrules and big mac begin to fight, however, this time the fight is done in lofian*

*big mac defeats physicsrules*

*in victory, big mac shouts "TIG!!!!"*

*pjizzle pops in and yells BITTIES!*

*thomas is consumed by the giant tig bitties!*

*big mac can't defeat physicsrules...big mac is presbyterian*

*the mac uses his presbyterian powers to punch physicsrules in the posterior*

*physicsrules uses his Catholic powers to convert bic mac, and they join forces to defeat pjizzle*

*pjizzle is catholic, they have no effect*

*pjizzle is a weak Catholic, but physicsrules is a strong Catholic. Since bic mac used to be a strong presbyterian, he is now a strong Catholic.

They tie down pjizzle, who calls upon the powers of Satan (aka Hillary Clinton)*

*pjizzle is not a weak catholic, seriously, and hillary is not satan, bush is...anyways pjizzle takes out a ruler, big macs ultimate weakness, and carves him a new hole*

*physicsrules wonders why pjizzle has such a sharp ruler than he can carve holes with it, and realizes that bic mac is an engineer and therefore likes rulers*

*hes a chemical engineer, and rulers are his greatest fear...the fear is so great he runs off to canada to summon some hockey players*

*physicsrules runs to England to get some football (aka soccer) players, and the two teams fight to the death*

*but the hockey players win, because David Beckham has come to America, crippling England's team*

*phil starts to bend it like beckham*

*physicsrules thinks about dropping it like it's hot, but decides not to lest he earn Munson's wrath*

*Munson smells fear, and finds out thomas had unpure dropping it like its hot thoughts*

*physicsrules explains that he resisted the temptation, and Munson pats him on the back for his strength and fortitude*

*Munson beats his wife*

*Thomas then shakes his fist at the sky*

*Munson would never beat his wife....*

*well, she left the kitchen, thats what she gets (mr munson said it not me)*

*Mrs. Munson goes out and buys Mr. Munson a gross of Tixon Ticonderoga Number 2 HB 1988-B pencils, and he forgives her"

*anyways, dannyjenn busts into mr munsons room, seeing a most unusual sight*

*Mr. Munson is actually teaching*

*Too bad he is teaching gym...inside his room*

*hes also teaching george bush a lesson*

*He tells Bush to keep up the good work*

*What good work? Are you high or something?*

*Munson is a Republican*

*Even Rupublicans are doubting him now, youd have to be stupid not to*

*good point*

*Anyways, back to the action...after the hockey players defeated the soccer players, the Canadians decided to attack mexico *

*But then they noticed that the United States was in the way, so they took over South America and tried to mount an attack up through central America*

*But when the invaded south america, they realized their army of bears could not withstand the heat and jaguars*

*So they told Bush that the central Americans had weapons of mass destruction*

*Bush then decided to nuke south and central america....finding out a few months later there were no weapons of mass destruction.*

*catboi's retribution would be swift*

*when he found to weapons of mass destruction, Bush changed his mind...he actually nuked south america in order to liberate the people...from themselves*

*wait a sec, i forgot to tell you dan already killed bush earlier...so this is zombie bush*

This is just George Bush without a "W" or an "H.W."

The third Bush.

yeah ok whatever

* Anyways, catboi invaded the white house, which had recently been painted black *

*He drove his catmobile for hours, but got stuck in traffic*

*physicsrules goes to Australia to escape catboi*

*catboi joins up with the canadians and freezes the pacific ocean somehow so they can skate across to Australia*

*this throws the world climate out of whack and plunges the world into another ice age*

*Not an ice age...a cat age! mwhahahaha FROZENLOAF!*

*physicsrules pulls some frozen bread out of the freezer (which is now the world) and puts it in the toaster, gets some strawberry jelly and butter, and waits for delicious breakfasty goodness*

*he realizes too late that the bread has whiskers and is meowing*

*he doesn't care...he eats cats all the time...it'll die in the toaster*

*catboi jumps in through the window and slaps the catbread out of physicsrules hand*

*physicsrules flees to the Vatican...the one place where he is absolutely safe from catboi*

*while there, he continues to eat all the cats he wants*

physicsrules: I got fleas from the catbread

*pjizzle quickly throws holy water at catboi to baptize him, and then catboi becomes an ordained minister*

*catboi enters the vatican*

*but you have to be a good Catholic to enter the Vatican*

*the Pope uses a Pope-Ray to blast catboi to France*

*dannyjenn grabs onto a catbat and flys to Europe.*

*he revives hitler, who tells the pope/former nazi youth to kill all the jews*

*but the Pope likes Jews...he was a former hitler youth by force, not by choice*

*he shouldve stood up to them, like americans did by bombing them*

*pjizzle grabs the pope gun and holds it to physicsrules physics book*
 

How will Physicsrules physics books escape? Will catboi get to Thomas and fufill his revenge?! Will Pjizzle do the unthinkable?!?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME on DRAGON BALL Z

 

The Loaf Quiz [under construction]
Lofémon Script and Notes [under construction]
Initial Reality II Story [under construction]